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Personal Issues That Aren’t Your Pubicist’s Problem

Peanuts psychiatristOkay so the title of this post is a bit misleading, because some would argue that it suggests there ARE some personal issues that are your publicist’s problem, when in reality, none are.

I can hear the hemming and hawing already, “But I hired you to help me!” and “We’re a team!” which are both true statements but last I checked I don’t have a degree that qualifies me as a psychiatrist, although I’m considering it, I’d make a lot more money – but I’m no Lucy.

Back to what the post is really about, where your focus is as an author. Didn’t see that one coming, did you? But seriously, you wouldn’t believe some of the problems that get thrown at me, and I’m not just talking about clients, I actually get authors I’m not even working with that think it’s acceptable to kick off our relationship with a laundry list of personal problems that, aside from making it nearly impossible for them to function in the real world (I can only assume), have no legitimate affect on their book or their marketing.

So why would I care? You’re right, my dedicated readers, I don’t!

But for laughs I want to share some of the things that have kicked off some author inquiries I’ve received in the recent past:Man middle finger

– I lost my job so I wrote a book. I have no money but that’s where you come in…

– I’m blacklisted from Goodreads and reviewers on Amazon keep downgrading the number of stars on their reviews…

– I published in 2013 but my cat needed a new knee so I’m just coming back from a hiatus…

– I’ve been screwed over by marketing people before who didn’t get me on the bestseller list…

– I would like to hire you on a trial basis until I’m comfortable with your work…

– I don’t do email…

Those are some specific examples, but just so I don’t leave out any of the other reasons people have been difficult to work with there have been: divorces, sick animals, thirsty plants, crazy mothers, babies, bunions, Nicorette, hot flashes, layoffs, vacations (really?!), slow Internet connections, and my favorite, lack of interest.

And there you have it, a relatively comprehensive list of excuses for why people can’t focus on what matters, and certainly when you’re trying to insert yourself into my world – what your readers want and how to make your book answer that need. That’s it folks. We all have issues, I have issues and you’ll never catch me saying I don’t, but when push comes to shove I can focus on what needs to get done, and as an author, if you want to be successful, you do too. Sanity-Insanity signpost

There are plenty of things out there that seem designed specifically to suck up all our energy and replace it with negative juju – but don’t give in. The light at the end of the tunnel is full of positive reviews, super fans and book sales, if you try hard enough.

Besides, my accounting department doesn’t know how to apply the Pathetic Existence Discount.

Cheers to the rock star authors – you know who you are!